hope lingers

As days pass by, hope for better tidings, wans... I know it is quite unlike me to be sad about things i could not have... but as the years go by, i feel the frustration growing gradually... I feel like m trapped, by circumstances, by deeds, by words unsaid... i m not sure why i m having such a rotten time.. i knw i m responsible for half of it. i do own up and take the responsibility for things which have gone wrong...
I am responsible. But that does not mean... i suffer endlessly... i need a break! am tired of waiting... oh blog of mine...do u want me to be a cribber every day? dont u want to see me happy? i want to...and i try...but as days go by, hope is all i hang on by. hope is all i have.... and i just hope better times come visiting...and that too fast!

mid summer...

This blog has become something like a seasons catalogue... The cool January has given way to june...
The rains havent started yet. Just being elusive... there was a drizzle yesterday...and then again nothing today other than the clouds rolling in...

It feels strange that the Summer Solstice just came and went ...but the days still tend to be long...may be it is because work is boring... and testing at times...

I have been on a job hunt...which again plays hide and seek like the elusive rain...and leaves me wondering why it is that life turns out to be such a struggle...

the jelous me looks around and seeing people getting placed ever so often... and me still stuck out here...or is it jus that time stands still just for me? or is it because i hate this soo much that i feel like time is standin still????

I would not know...untill i m out of this fix

winter

The last time i came here was when the sun was shining bright...The summer is long gone now...so are the fallen leaves and the past.
.. it is a brand new year...a brand new job which sucks big time and a brand new me?
another tall dream...the me is never new. the me does welcome the new...but somewhere along the line, the me just hangs on to the past, not ready to let go...but this year, i did that.
i said good bye to my mobile phone which has been my bosom companion for the last couple of years... 4 infact...a relic from those 'unforgivable' days....
by letting go of it, i have in a way ushered in the new... or have i?

fallen leaves!

Summer is here, and if u ask me, it is 'hot'
Had heard many people say that even the summers in bangalore is 'cool' well, i do not feel that way.
Compare it with the start of summer in Dubai, something like the March mid heat...yes, that is how it feels..
the skies are a clear blue, not a single wisp of white floating about...this happens once the sun is up, which is post 8am!
But the summer has its own charm. the fallen leaves, the wild lilac flowers on the trees...and the best of all...the tree just outside the gate...with small white flowers..It smiles at me with a spray of flowers each time i pass under it...
and for that small instant, i feel i m god!

Image: some site on internet!

Onam, mahabali and i:-)

Mahabali and i share a common bond. Both of us return to Kerala, to home for Onam. But for King bali, its a one time tour every year...and the whole malayali community remembers him, even if they are not in India...and for me...i return every other month...to my home...

May be that is why i miss out on the fan fare... audio CD's are not cut to welcome my return...but King Bali gets them...no floral carpets for me....but there are many, including my page on Orkut, which has floral carpets for the great king...

but all said and done...i relate to the feeling of home coming... even if it is just a couple of months away... and the poor king, he has to wait a year long........

For more on Onam...myths and facts click on to a page i did last year while basking in the Dubai summer... www.freewebs.com/thiruvonam

It was the only Onam with out my parents... and made extra special by a very caring friend. I still have fond memories.

commercials!

Shopping in Bangalore? Head straight to the commercials! And then, even if you are not shopping a trip to Commercial Street is a must.
It is here that people come to shop. It is here that brisk business happens every day and also it is here that after sun set, a multitude of stars light up the skyline, just below the canopy of real stars.
Life here is all about bargaining and selling. the dress materails are better priced that those in kerala. any way
will come back and write it later..got to see some more o the street to fill this up!

Chickpet! Enjaay Maadi

Chickpet is "THE" market in Bangalore. Well the typical bangaloreans may not differ. but the yuppies who swear by the shopping malls and the commercial street may!

And for me, who has been for the past one and a half year immune to the jostling crowds and “10 X 10” markets in India it was quite an experience.

we walked in to the vegetable market. which sold almost every vegetable under the clear blue skies. or for that matter, the rainy skies. i wanted to stay clear, but then i had committed to my friend that i would go with her to the fruit market too...

on both the sides there were women selling vegetables and the other small house hold things, like mirrors, scrubbers cloth hangers....name it...u get everything here.
we walked into the market proper...from then on...the legs did all the work.. rather i was carried into a maelstrom ....into a huge mass of humanity which was just sweat, hands, legs and sounds of bargain.

we headed to the shops selling flowers, vegetables and other stuff...we just had to move with the stream of hands and legs...the stream of pushing prodding...yelling fighting...people. It was a miracle that we got out in one piece. without anyone picking our pockets...it sure was a miracle. I quietly counted my lucky stars.

Out side, it felt that we were in a brand new world. a world where the head could breathe in normal aromas of cow dung, fresh vegetables and flowers...we headed down the alleys and decided to shop for clothes at some later time...

we headed down the road to get a rickshaw and saw a sugar cane juice shop...decided to have a drink the shop keeper put in a long stick of sugar cane in to the machine and we watched as it became a pulp with the juice collecting outside....and as i gulped down the juice, i felt bad for the stick of sugarcane being squashed to pulp...i had experienced how it felt when i was inside the market